he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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