I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
