Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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