Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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