yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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