My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
