Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
