he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
