Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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