My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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