dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
