Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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