his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i now understand why vodka
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
