i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
