you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
