I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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