i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
