one might say we're banned from that church
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
