...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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