It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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