so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
