Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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