Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
