just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
