last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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