Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.