So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that