According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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