and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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