i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
