those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
