using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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