my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need a beard to bite.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
