we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
