we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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