Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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