He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
