weddingsv make me drug and hornr
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
