There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
