he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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