I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
