I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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