i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
