if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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