you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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