i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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