Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
