she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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