I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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