I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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