we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
