I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
