He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The adults are the big ones right?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
