we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
