how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?