just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
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Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The air was thick with penises
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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