oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
