Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
