Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
