Plan B is the new Plan A
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
