12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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