Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
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