thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
