I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
