yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Your penis caused this!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
