you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
