Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
